Friday, July 31, 2009

Love poem, do you like? please give some feedback?

I am afraid to love, and yet I love you.


My fear is like a wall I walk right through.


The wall is there, and yet it doesn't stop me.


I need it still, and yet I still need you.


I know someday we will be in a field


Surrounded by the blessing of the sky.


I'll dance with all the freedom of pure joy,


Needing you without a reason why.





But now I'm still afraid that I might lose you,


That you might not accept my desperate need.


You make me laugh and cry and be completely.


You are the flower, I the slender reed.

Love poem, do you like? please give some feedback?
Have you entered any poetry contests? If not you should give it a try. Yor writing style is versatile and your words are well written. I can totally translate your poem for you. Tell me if I kinda sorta got it:


I am afraid to love but I am so in love you, my fear keeps me from truly giving my all...... so I hold up a guard, not expressing my all..only to melt in your arms.....my physical gives in cause it sees no reason not to.....yet my safe guard comforts me so i keep it up.... which only hinders our growth...however, day in and day out, it is you that I need, want and desire. It is you who truly shares this state of consciousness. I see paradise, the after life with you and I am 100% content with you....... giving myself completely..... wth no doubt that you are truly the one, or, if this is right, or meant to be.


But for now......this world is so scary..I don't want to be lonely.......and people always seem to let us down..so I won't share my deep need for you cuz it might just scare you away. I might seem weak and lame. I want to keep you.but only in my interpretation, beause that way, I keep you guessing and I keep the upper hand in this...... what I know deep down.....mutual love...........You help define my existance.........I can admit it through this poem..............with you I am.................together we are...................I am the wind beneath your wings. You give me purpose to watch something beautiful soar........
Reply:It's decent
Reply:This one gives me the feeling of rushing, as if rushing to finish the poem. It's not bad, but was difficult to read with flow and cadence.
Reply:feedback:


I clicked in here with hopes to see,


A poem of pure sweet love.


I hoped to see such sweet love words,


To charm the birds above.


But what I see, to tell the truth,


Is what I did not want.


For reading this has brought up ghosts,


And will my brain now haunt.


Until I say that you need to,


Redo some of your words.


Give it a rhythm and a flow,


So it will soar like birds.
Reply:Really wonderful poem .I fell in love with someone and love him truly and know that he will back with me,because we can solve our problems together.Please wish me best of luck.
Reply:Very heartfelt a so so sweet.



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