Why do parents worry if daughter is dating a metaller, or say green hair, opunk, raver, goth or other altertiv

Why do parents worry if daughter is dating a metaller, or say green hair, opunk, raver, goth or other alternative type who looks different?








As all I remember is all the fights, gang activity, serious drug use, knifings, shootings, kicking to death, trouble, jerks getting girls drunk to shag them, date rapes, drunken yobbery etc etc...








All occured in the trendy, smart dress clubs and scenes.








Whilst all the freaky goth, hippy, raver, metaller etc etc type clubs had people into the music, a community culutre where all looked out for each other.








If someone was older and bigger, they looked after the younger ones, made sure they were ok and got them home safe.








People made out in public areas all kissy paw paw but safe.





There was a culture of you fall down all around you pick you up.








Pulling shy wall flowers onto the dance floor and getting them involved.





If drinks spilt nobody cared or if bumped they bumped you back and had fun etc.





The cops also said

Why do parents worry if daughter is dating a metaller, or say green hair, opunk, raver, goth or other altertiv
Which parents ? All parents ?





I swear it%26#039;s just you they don%26#039;t like, if you can%26#039;t see past what people wear and what they like how can you expect anyone else to ?
Reply:my mum prefers me to go out with metallers etc as she has seen how much hurt i have been caused by the %26quot;smartly dresssed and respectful type%26quot;, she wants me to stray from my usual type which is the smartly dressed ones, and get myself a goth or metaller!!
Reply:These persons like to assume risks and risks are perceived to be dangerous. No parent is comfortable knowing their child could be in danger, hence the disapproval.
Reply:because you are on drugs look at how you rant on incoherently
Reply:because,as a parent you have to make judgements about you childs friends because you want your children to be safe, and if your daughter is dating someone who looks wild you have to ask yourself if this guys parents allow their kid to look like this then they probably give him a lot of freedom to do other things and most teenagers abuse freedom so chances are this rocker goth kid is doing drugs or hangs around with drug users or criminals, You may not like it but thats the truth, this how parents think and its a good thing, you wouldnt want your kids dating hobos or crack addicts.
Reply:I don%26#039;t see how you can find the time to rant on like you do. You ask a perfectly good question (for once!) and then go and spoil it by adding all the usual waffle and unintelligible stuff interspersed with large blank spaces.


In answer - as far as I can - to your question, what makes you so sure that so many parents worry about what their offspring do or who they go out with - it%26#039;s plain to see that most of them couldn%26#039;t care less if their daughter goes out with any of the type of dressers you describe, but I%26#039;m still at a loss to know what one of your %26quot;opunk%26quot; creatures are. It can%26#039;t be a typo because you%26#039;ve repeated it, so it MUST be a REAL word. What does it mean..........
Reply:maybe it is just you that parents don%26#039;t like? Since you don%26#039;t have a job, date underage girls and spend your time ranting about your social inadequacy online? Just a thought...





Also - how old are you? I%26#039;ve read some of your other questions and your obsession with dating younger girls and sex education is pretty creepy...
Reply:A lot of parents have an image in their mind of what they want their daughters to be around. Most parents are very protective of their girls, especially. I have an older brother who was allowed to do way more things than I was (and not especially unsafe or anything like that). However unjust it might seem and however in line I feel it is with the general cultural idea that men can do more and get away with more than women, it%26#039;s still a fact of human life.





I married a man who my parents thought was a rebel, wild-child, whatever. He had spiky hair and put dark blue streaks in it from time to time. He had an earring and wore a leather jacket that looked like it came from a biker%26#039;s closet. He%26#039;s a confident, charming guy. I think they were intimidated by that and simply thought that he was out to get what every other guy in the world is out to get. Yes, men are visual yada yada yada ... but he%26#039;s my husband. We%26#039;ve been married for over 2 years, and happily.





I think too much weight is put on people%26#039;s outward apperance and how they present themselves to others. this IS important, especially since most parents (and jobs!) aren%26#039;t interested in people with blue or green hair and 10 earrings, etc. But that doesn%26#039;t mean anything about the person.





So long as you are a good person, a safe, caring, trustworthy person, it just shouldn%26#039;t matter. I%26#039;m such a girl because of this I%26#039;m sure, but I think about %26quot;Dirty Dancing%26quot; sometimes in reference to this issue. Baby%26#039;s dad hated Johnny (who she was interested in), but in the end he was proved to be trustworthy and better in character than they guy her dad DID like. Just goes to show that image is sometimes just what people want it to be...
Reply:You are ranting and not making alot of sense. Hmmm, maybe that%26#039;s why parents don%26#039;t want you dating their daughter, because you talk too much with your pseudo intellect.
Reply:Its probably based on the future employment outlook for said individual. I used to be punk, but knew I had to conform in order to make it in this world, so I gave it up when I got to the right age. I still dig the music, but had to assume some responsibility. Anyway, that would be my guess.
Reply:I agree with everything you said. I was with the punk or goth crowd when I was younger and they were they friendliest people around. I couldnt stand such people as the cheerleaders, football players, etc, and yes they were the ones on crack! So anyways, I dated my now husband out of that crowd, and I really dont know if my mom knew much about that kind of thing to stereotype him. She saw that he was a respectful guy.


Now Im the mom of 3 boys and a little girl due in March, and I wont judge any guy that comes to my door just because of how he looks, but I probably will be protective of her with any guy that comes to the door. No matter how he lookes. But I do know just because the guy may be well dressed preppy looking guy, doesnt mean he is any better than a guy coming up to my door in a sid vicious t shirt, with green hair or something like that.
Reply:And that sort of rant is the exact reason why ...
Reply:Because in this world the way things have been since the beginning of time is, hate anything that is different, even if it has no effect on you what so ever. Just think about it, gay marriage, who will it hurt? no body, but it is different than mainstream USA. rock and roll, different, they hated it, long hair,I had it, they hated it, pot, not as harmful as cigarettes, they hate it,its different. White America hates blacks, they are different. Along with hating Mexicans, Jews, Arabs,, Muslims, anything. If mainstream America hates something, it is because it is not the same as them, no other reason. Parents have no Idea what a Goth is, or a metaller, or a raver, so what is there to hate, except they are different.
Reply:.....you sound a little too immature to even be dating , you seem to be trying to justify the culture versus doing as your parents say , which is by the way wrong on your part... your parents are responsible for raising you to become a responsible , productive law abiding person , and your job is to do as you are told until you become an adult ..then do as you wish ..why do you think the law , will not allow you to do anything until age 18 , because until then you belong to your parents , they are your providers of everything , so stop being an immature brat and mind your parents ..when you are an adult , and pay for your own house, car and life ... then date who you want.and do as you please .....until then ...,^%#$# ......go to your room .......
Reply:that wasnt actually a question was it?
Reply:Because apparently it isn%26#039;t the %26#039;norm%26#039;! People like that aren%26#039;t the %26#039;same%26#039; as them, and they have such closed minds that they think it means trouble!





And then parents tell us not to judge people by looks or material things!!
Reply:because they are afraid of things they dont know
Reply:arent you done? maybe you need a job or some more education
Reply:We don%26#039;t have a problem with that,our 16 year old Daughter is dating a long haired,alternative looking %26#039;SK8R%26#039; (??) %26#039;dude%26#039;,he%26#039;s into metal etc, dresses differently,but we%26#039;re cool with that,because he%26#039;s a nice boy who treats her well %26amp; respects her which is what matters to us. Just because he dresses %26amp; looks different shouldn%26#039;t matter.To be honest we%26#039;d rather she date him than these chavvy looking sheep!!
Reply:loser
Reply:whats with all your questions and young girls and parents? are you looking for approval then that is ok for you whatever age you are to date a 16 year old?





well if this is the case i doubt you will get approval here








ill say this ONLY once





IT IS ILLEGAL TO HAVE SEX WITH ANYONE 16 OR UNDER
Reply:awwwwww didums, there%26#039;s nothing quite like feeling sorry for yourself is there? It is the way of the world dear, people fear what they don%26#039;t understand, it%26#039;s a bit like that stupid episode of Quincey where he declares that some girl was killed by Rock%26#039;n%26#039;roll music!But at the same time there%26#039;s no need to have a go at the trendy folk either, personally I%26#039;m none of the above I am me %26amp; am very content about it, I think age is mellowing me out a bit too much!!!!
Reply:they are steroetyping the individual because they look like part of a group that they percieve as %26quot;rowdy%26quot; and %26quot;bad%26quot; ect.
Reply:I personally don%26#039;t know why parents are like that, it is a shame that todays society has come to judge people based on appearances, because what a person looks like doesn%26#039;t reflect on them as a person; it just gives us all a sense of personal identity.





I think the worry of this alternative style may come from the supposed lifestyle that comes with it that has been shown within the media, and I feel that they show a false representation of this lifestyle, as I myself am into the alternative scene; and people like to steriotype me into a group, %26#039;goth%26#039; %26#039;emo%26#039; %26#039;freak%26#039; etc, and they just automatically judge me by the way I dress, and the music I listen too; when I am infact a pretty down to earth person (well so I like to think). The alternative/goth/punk/rocker/metaller etc scene is nothing to fear, and it such a same people feel that way. I don%26#039;t think you will find any clear advice for your question, the reason for this it is just how people have come to view this image due to press/media etc. So all I can really say is that you should not worry about how the parent%26#039;s perceive you for the way you look, let them see you for who you are, not what you are. Cause that is the best way to judge a person.
Reply:Because most parents are afraid of the influence of the alternative lifestyle. They do not understand wht someone would want green hair. The think more drugs, etc are at the raves...Most parents come from the NON-alternative lifestyle and thats all that they know...



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