Plz read an excerpt from my short story?

Scythe took in a breath of what he called fresh air. It was the scent of fresh blood and it made his bloodthirsty mouth water. He finally felt alive after five years of rituals that had been preformed for this very day. The day his God once again became powerful and ruled the world! Scythe hadn%26#039;t felt the warmth of a drop of blood in years, so today he felt totally controlled by his bloodlust. He just had to quench his thirst. His instincts told him to climb the city%26#039;s walls to get to his calling. He took a bit of a running start and rammed his spear into a crack in the wall. He pulled himself up and then balanced on the spear. He jumped up and caught grip of the top of the wall. He sprung up, landing like a cat on the wall. He took a leap from the wall to the roof of a Candy Flower shop, landing softly. He spotted a woman below who was worriedly rushing her children indoors. They obviously knew about the attack. Scythe jumped down silently behind the woman and silently sliced her neck. He could not resist his vampire instincts and began to drink the flowing blood. The blood dripped down his chin as he greedily drank all the blood out of the woman. After finally quenching his thirst, he went back to what he was in this city to do. He jumped back onto the rooftops and made his way over the buildings to the castle. He sat, perched on the roof of the nearest building to the castle gates. He could hear the guards talking among themselves.


%26quot;Darn the King! %26#039;E knew of the attack the %26#039;ole time!%26quot; complained one of the guards, %26quot;Now we must get slaugh%26#039;ered in war by some %26#039;ellish beasts tha%26#039; I never knew existed!%26quot; The guards all began to make their way to the city front gates, trembling at the name of death.


Scythe jumped over the fence that was blocking off entrance into the castle. He swiftly climbed up a tree and flew from tree to tree until he was a leap away from the the main tower%26#039;s top windowsill. This was the window to the king%26#039;s room. He jumped heroically through the window and landed without sound.


King Charles was watching the nearing army of demons, dragons, Satin%26#039;s Goblins, and Hell Warriors.


These ugly, foul smelling creatures were being led by the Dark Warlock and his hand-picked army of twenty Fiery Paladins.


These furious creatures rode on Three Horned Rhinophants. They carried long, Hell Snake Whips. The heavy whips let out trails of flames behind them as the paladin%26#039;s began to crush and poison the poor Centroville guards.


Scythe slowly began to creep up on Charles. He closed in slowly and quietly like a tiger in the woods. His dragon tooth dagger, that had been dipped in venomous demon blood, was clenched tightly in his hand. His Deadly Hood covered the nasty scar that brought hideousness to his face. As he got closer to his goal his heart began run a marathon. %26quot;Finally my god will be released and I will be entitled to the position of King of the Upper World!%26quot; he thought. Scythe was within a good distance now and decided to do it. He raised his dagger and jumped up planning to leap over Charles and out of the window, while at the same time stabbing him in the head from behind. He had pulled this off many times against some of the thousand light priests, and it had a certain success rate.


Suddenly the king turned around, withdrawing his long sword from it%26#039;s scabbard. TWWANNNG! He sword smashed against Scythe%26#039;s chest plate, throwing Scythe off balance.


Scythe landed on his back; his dagger sliding across the marble floor. He attempted to get up and dive for it, but the king kicked him back down.


The king pointed his sword down at Scythe%26#039;s now uncovered face. He caught a glimpse of Scythe%26#039;s strange scar and squinted at at curiously. %26quot;H...Henry?%26quot; he stuttered.

Plz read an excerpt from my short story?
Fantastic! Really loved it. So action-packed and fast paced. But one criticism - you did mean Satan (the king of demons) and not Satin (the shiny cloth that lingerie is made out of)?


I really liked your story and I%26#039;ve got no doubt the final fully-polished draft will be brilliant.
Reply:It%26#039;s hard to tell without knowing what the story is about. But I think it was pretty good. Unique





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