Kids at a wedding (not mine or his)?

My fiance and I are planning our wedding, and we're running into a wall over the children. I personally object to having any children under 18 at all because we have an evening wedding, and I remember as a young girl being the only child at the evening wedding of my uncle and having my father bring me home because I was too tired and largely in the way of the adults. I also don't want my family and friends being reserved with their behavior for the sake of the kids. I don't want to have small children running around and under tables. My fiance wants to include his goddaughter as our flower girl, and because she's included, then he believes that a domino effect occurs... if one child is allowed, then they all must. I'm wondering what people experienced with children? How did it impact your budget (we're talking 20 kids under 10 here)? A secondary problem is that some of my cousins are my age, the youngest is 4... a big range. I don't want to exclude some but not others.

Kids at a wedding (not mine or his)?
What i think we're going to end up doing (since the wedding will more than likely be at a hotel or resort) is get a couple neighborhood girls together and rent them a room and have Babysitters available. Depending on the age range will help determine how many we need.





Provide food, and movies, and snacks, and stuff to keep them occupied. I think we'll have the option for them to be at the reception, but when the children get tired... they can go up to the kiddie suite and have a place to crash out and still be supervised so the parents can come back and party.
Reply:I think it's ok to invite the kids on the wedding party if you want it, but not every kid in your family. It would be too many kids running around like it's a playground and would probable be annoying for the parents who want to have fun and your other friends who don't want kids. Kids are kids , they can't be controlled at all time so it's better if they go home to sleep, either way an evening reception is not a time for kids.


Good luck!
Reply:We are not having any children at our wedding, except the flower girl, and it's a big posiblity she will not be in attendance at the reception because of the time. (late evening). That said., I would not allow any other children besides her at the reception reguardless. I just went to a wedding where children were allowed there, they were running around, bumping into people on the dance floor,, tearing the dessert table apart, and throwing a fit when they were told that they could not have the centerpieces on the table. they were sticking their fingers in everything, desserts, the chocolate fountain, the mixed drink machine. Just a huge mess. I don't care what parents say...they DO NOT properly watch their children at weddings. They should be left home
Reply:We only invited the children who were in the wedding- and only our ringbearer came. The flower girls went home- because their parents wanted to enjoy themselves! I think that as long as you limit it to only the children in the wedding party, you have no obligation to invite any other kids. Most parents welcome a chance to go out without their kids!
Reply:This whole topic is a minefield. Some people believe that their children belong everywhere. Others beleive that there should be adults-only places, and not just because of 'adult themes'.





I think a compromise could be possilbe. You may want to have the god-daughter as a flower girl at the ceremony and join all for dinner, but make it clear to her parents that the expectation is that she leave after dinner. Even then ,the poor thing will be bored out of her gourd.





This leads to a second suggestion of just having her at the ceremony and have the babysitter and her share pizza at home. Or maybe even have a sleepover of a couple of her cousins.





good luck.
Reply:No no no. No kids. Kids can be in the pictures, then escorted home or to a hotel room. The flower girl can walk down the aisle, then walk out and be escorted home by a babysitter. No kids, none.
Reply:planning my daughters weddig and the same issue.


The flower girl will go home with the grandparents after dinner.


Other young guests will go to the hotel or home .


THe venue is not child proof and there is no place for them to go.


ONe idea is to hire a person to take care of them, entertain them, is there a separate room they can be in?
Reply:we are only inviting the children of our family, sisters niceces and nephews. we are having a later afternoon in to the night time reception.


we are making sure that the parents know when the alcohol starts flowing we want the children to leave soon there after. there will be enough of them that are driving when we get married so they can go back to our grandmoms house and spend the night





stick to your guns. have the 1 there and make sure her family knows to line her babysitter up for afterwards.


no need for more kids to get underfoot, to get tired and to get in to trouble!!
Reply:You need to have a blanket effect - either all or nothing. You can't invite some but exclude other, or guests will be very offended and you will probably never be forgiven.





For my wedding I had a no under-18's rule that worked fine. I had my 5 %26amp; 6 yr old niece %26amp; nephew at the church as flowergirl %26amp; pageboy, but they were picked up afterwards by a friend and taken home before the reception.





Night time weddings/receptions are too late for little kids! They end up too tired %26amp; cranky and then they go to sleep on mum or dads lap and then no one is having fun.
Reply:I agree with the domino effect. If you invite one then you should invite them all. Personally I am all for inviting children because I see weddings as fun family events. However if you don't want children there that's fine too, just make sure everyone can afford a sitter. People might also want to leave early to get home to their kids. I had over 30 children at both ceremony and reception without a problem.
Reply:That is a personal choice. They do get rather expensive especially if there are guest with many children. Then of course you have the wonderful Aunt and Uncle that do not mind their children are swinging off of the chandeliers.





We went to my cuz wedding and it was nice, kids and all. Most everyone found sitters for their kids part way through the night and partied on. I saw one wedding that provided childcare on site, so the kids could leave and the parents could enjoy the rest of the evening.





It is hard to tell guests not to bring the kids and little cousins are there. I do think that the wedding party kids are one thing and guests are another.





Best of luck.
Reply:It is perfectly appropriate to exclude kids from the reception. I agree with your reasoning. You can have the flower girl at the ceremony but then not have children at the reception. Its your wedding and you should have what you like but you will need to make a firm decision; can't have some kids and not others. Congratulations.



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