How does this poem sound?

Breaking Down the Wall





Don't look at me with those sad eyes.


I told you my heart belonged to no one.


Like a flower withers when it dies,


I said that I was done.


When last I gave my heart away,


I was done a terrible wrong.


It seemed I was love's witless prey


and I suffered far to long.


Don't reach out to me with that kind hand.


I will not cling to any arm.


I will not trust, I am stuck in sand


away from your bitter charm.


When you draw near I turn my back.


I tell you I will not love you so.


It's not the heart you lack.


It's what will happen I know.


But your words are warm to my ears.


What is breaking my defenses?


Are you allaying all my fears and


reconciling my pretenses?


The ice is melting from my soul.


I slowly turn to you.


I feel as though I've been made whole.


Have I found a love that's true?

How does this poem sound?
Though some of the phrases may require some attention, I think that you have made a valiant attempt at writing this happy ending poem. I like it, for it is not all doom and gloom like some of the submissions I read, and which are so poorly written and submitted as poetry.





Robert
Reply:Your work is uplifting and inspiring. The metamorphosis from angst to joy is very nicely done. I love the imagery that you have used to create this poem. It is very clear and emotional. Thank you.
Reply:Ok first off i want to say i love this poem. I write poetry as well and this poem is way better than mine. You have alot of emoition in here. Its an amazing poem. LOVE IT. 1 out of 10 1 gillion
Reply:I really like this poem. It really speaks to me and I can actually feel each word of the poem. Great Job.
Reply:I love it!!!!!!! It is really emotional and tells a good story!
Reply:It sounds good.


I like it.


Nice work:)



hotels