ROFL
For you guys who won't lsiten to a woman because she is too stupid
to know ANYTHING!
%26gt;%26gt; In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into
the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied.
A nurse noticed his predicament.
Sir, she said " You may use the ladies room if you promise not to
touch any of the buttons on the wall."
He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch.
Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a red one
labeled ATR.
Who would know if he touched them?
He couldn't resist.. He pushed WW. warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom.
What a nice felling, he thought. Men restrooms don't have nice things likethis.
Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm
air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside.!
When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure
The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure.
When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.
Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him.
"What happened?" he exclaimed. The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button.
"The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your pillow."
MEN NEVER LISTEN
%26gt;%26gt;
MEN dont listen ( adult content )?
Sorry, what did you say - I was listening - honest!
Reply:lol well I've never heard it before, so thanks for sharing!! Made me giggle anyway, haha!
Reply:Good one! Thanks.
Reply:LOL...yup,thats right,men never listen
Reply:that is funny i will tell my husband that joke
thanks for sharing that
Reply:i heard it before, but it is still cute
Reply:lol funny
Reply:it was an old one but it still makes me laugh when i here it! But men will never listen no matter what happens to them ever
Reply:Great joke but women dont listen either. And btw not all women are stupid. Just the ones we know are stupid.
Reply:Old joke- still good.
Reply:oh wow!!
Reply:ouch... you never press a red button. NEVER! I don't care if a woman told you or not. lol. that must SUCK! lol.
♣
Reply:OH Yeay.... maybe HE will listen next time.... OUCH you know that had to hurt
Reply:NOW MAYBE THEY'LL LISTEN!!!! But I doubt it. That's a really cute joke, I'll have to remember it to tell all my friends at the truck stop! They'll get a kick out of it. Thanx for making me smile!
Reply:heard before but its good
Reply:hahahaha.
They never listen and they never ask for directions.
tax credit
Monday, August 3, 2009
How would you interpret this passage?
38. In the Gold Room: a Harmony
(poem by Oscar Wilde)
HER ivory hands on the ivory keys
Strayed in a fitful fantasy,
Like the silver gleam when the poplar trees
Rustle their pale leaves listlessly,
Or the drifting foam of a restless sea 5
When the waves show their teeth in the flying breeze.
Her gold hair fell on the wall of gold
Like the delicate gossamer tangles spun
On the burnished disk of the marigold,
Or the sun-flower turning to meet the sun 10
When the gloom of the jealous night is done,
And the spear of the lily is aureoled.
And her sweet red lips on these lips of mine
Burned like the ruby fire set
In the swinging lamp of a crimson shrine, 15
Or the bleeding wounds of the pomegranate,
Or the heart of the lotus drenched and wet
With the spilt-out blood of the rose-red wine.
How would you interpret this passage?
I love Oscar Wilde, he is not just some wierd *** author, first of all. He loves this woman so much he compares her to god's other creations and he cant just choose one. He loves watching her play the piano, he thinks her hand are very graceful, he loves the waves and color of her hair and the color of her lips and of course kissing them. Oh, to be loved by such a man, she must have been very beautiful.
Reply:She is good at playing the piano and is a beautiful blonde with pretty red lips..that it!!
Reply:chick plays piano, weird-a$$ author making an analogy of that to w/e he said in first section....
her hair is long.....like some flowers and/ or vines....again with the analogies.....
lips analogy..........kissing.....
pretty much it
well obviously this guy likes nature, considering all the fruity analogies with nature.
Reply:It uses a lot of visual references to make comparisons.
Mr. Wilde is describing vividly beautiful sights, and comparing them with a lady he loves. The number of colors and images in the poem, are meant to project the images to the reader's mind.
The poem seems to suggest, that the woman it mentions, is as great to the author as those pleasant images.
I think Oscar is just explaining his love for a woman through the use of beautiful imagery.
Reply:The first stanza describes her piano playing as the wild rustling of nature,
The second describes her hair as the sharpest brightest gold
and the third describes kissing her, warm, wet, and red
beauty
(poem by Oscar Wilde)
HER ivory hands on the ivory keys
Strayed in a fitful fantasy,
Like the silver gleam when the poplar trees
Rustle their pale leaves listlessly,
Or the drifting foam of a restless sea 5
When the waves show their teeth in the flying breeze.
Her gold hair fell on the wall of gold
Like the delicate gossamer tangles spun
On the burnished disk of the marigold,
Or the sun-flower turning to meet the sun 10
When the gloom of the jealous night is done,
And the spear of the lily is aureoled.
And her sweet red lips on these lips of mine
Burned like the ruby fire set
In the swinging lamp of a crimson shrine, 15
Or the bleeding wounds of the pomegranate,
Or the heart of the lotus drenched and wet
With the spilt-out blood of the rose-red wine.
How would you interpret this passage?
I love Oscar Wilde, he is not just some wierd *** author, first of all. He loves this woman so much he compares her to god's other creations and he cant just choose one. He loves watching her play the piano, he thinks her hand are very graceful, he loves the waves and color of her hair and the color of her lips and of course kissing them. Oh, to be loved by such a man, she must have been very beautiful.
Reply:She is good at playing the piano and is a beautiful blonde with pretty red lips..that it!!
Reply:chick plays piano, weird-a$$ author making an analogy of that to w/e he said in first section....
her hair is long.....like some flowers and/ or vines....again with the analogies.....
lips analogy..........kissing.....
pretty much it
well obviously this guy likes nature, considering all the fruity analogies with nature.
Reply:It uses a lot of visual references to make comparisons.
Mr. Wilde is describing vividly beautiful sights, and comparing them with a lady he loves. The number of colors and images in the poem, are meant to project the images to the reader's mind.
The poem seems to suggest, that the woman it mentions, is as great to the author as those pleasant images.
I think Oscar is just explaining his love for a woman through the use of beautiful imagery.
Reply:The first stanza describes her piano playing as the wild rustling of nature,
The second describes her hair as the sharpest brightest gold
and the third describes kissing her, warm, wet, and red
beauty
Name of decorative things on mirror screws?
Does anyone know the name of those decorative flower type things that go around the base of the screw that holds a bathroom mirror to the wall. They are very old fashioned looking - picture your grandmas bathroom. And no I don't mean that clip that can be used instead to hold up a mirror. These things are used with screws.
Name of decorative things on mirror screws?
either decorative washers like bert said or they may be called grommets ?
Reply:Sounds like a fancy version of a drywall anchor. Most screws need to have something solid to anchor to. When a stud is not handy, using a drywall anchor gives a screw a good anchor point to hold up whatever needs to be on the wall.
I bought a package of 20 for around $8 dollars about a month ago... real handy they are!
Reply:I believe they are called decorative washers.
Reply:I believe they are called rosettes...
Reply:roeb is right, rosettes. although now they have many different styles, even ones that have covers over the screw heads to match the whole rosette
beauty
Name of decorative things on mirror screws?
either decorative washers like bert said or they may be called grommets ?
Reply:Sounds like a fancy version of a drywall anchor. Most screws need to have something solid to anchor to. When a stud is not handy, using a drywall anchor gives a screw a good anchor point to hold up whatever needs to be on the wall.
I bought a package of 20 for around $8 dollars about a month ago... real handy they are!
Reply:I believe they are called decorative washers.
Reply:I believe they are called rosettes...
Reply:roeb is right, rosettes. although now they have many different styles, even ones that have covers over the screw heads to match the whole rosette
beauty
I am using ivory and silver for my wedding this August. For my third color, either pink or lilac. Which will.?
I am using ivory for myself and flower girl, bridesmaids are wearing silver and my husband to be is wearing a gray suit. The reception wall painting is ivory, and we are using white linen and ivory roses for the centrepiece. I want to use either lilac or pink for my third color and i would like to know which one will complete well. As the linens are white, i would like some suggestions on what color to use for my favors, disposable tissues and the best petal colors to decorate the table.
Any suggestion on my husband to be shirt and tie color would also be nice.
Thanks
I am using ivory and silver for my wedding this August. For my third color, either pink or lilac. Which will.?
they both go well but if you choose pink go for a pastel shade because it will go better. Pink it more traditional but if youre not that kind of person lilac it cute too.
Reply:Lilac. !
Reply:Lilac would complement everything. Royal Purple would look beautiful also.
Reply:lilac!
Reply:Well lilac is very nice, and goes well w/ the ivory and silver. But my question to you is, does your husband mind wearing a pink or lilac tie or shirt??? It's a bit feminine....other colors that go really well w/ the silver and ivory would be pale yellow or perhaps just basic black. If those colors are too boring for you, you could spice it up a bit by adding very brightly colored floral arrangements around the room and tables. For instance bright yellow daises w/ a hot pink flower to go w/ them, mixed in w/ some pale pink flowers would look nice. Congratulations by the way!!
Reply:i say like a baby pink
petals pink or red?
nd husbands shirt....let him decide....its his weddding also ;)
Reply:I think that lilac will offset the silver and ivory really well. It is soft and romantic without being overly girly or Barbie looking. You could also consider using both lilac and deeper purple shades. IE, use some deep purples in a few distinct areas, like in centerpieces, etc for some contrast and panache, but use the softer lilac shade for tissues, petals, etc. I have seen too many weddings where they went totally overboard on the pastels, everything looks like a big Easter egg, lol.
As for your husband, I think a traditional white shirt with a solid purple tie would look very nice. Just make sure it is a very good quality silk tie. If your husband is uncomfortable with a purple tie, you may be able to find a multicolored tie that has purple accents in it.
Good luck! Hope your wedding turns out great!
Reply:I suggest lilac. If you DO end up going with pink, choose something very pale and kind of...Eh...Metallic looking, for lack of better words. Not a bright punch-to-the-cornea pink.
Reply:If you want something that POPS! go with a bright pink. If you don't want it to POP! go with lilac. (:
skin disease
Any suggestion on my husband to be shirt and tie color would also be nice.
Thanks
I am using ivory and silver for my wedding this August. For my third color, either pink or lilac. Which will.?
they both go well but if you choose pink go for a pastel shade because it will go better. Pink it more traditional but if youre not that kind of person lilac it cute too.
Reply:Lilac. !
Reply:Lilac would complement everything. Royal Purple would look beautiful also.
Reply:lilac!
Reply:Well lilac is very nice, and goes well w/ the ivory and silver. But my question to you is, does your husband mind wearing a pink or lilac tie or shirt??? It's a bit feminine....other colors that go really well w/ the silver and ivory would be pale yellow or perhaps just basic black. If those colors are too boring for you, you could spice it up a bit by adding very brightly colored floral arrangements around the room and tables. For instance bright yellow daises w/ a hot pink flower to go w/ them, mixed in w/ some pale pink flowers would look nice. Congratulations by the way!!
Reply:i say like a baby pink
petals pink or red?
nd husbands shirt....let him decide....its his weddding also ;)
Reply:I think that lilac will offset the silver and ivory really well. It is soft and romantic without being overly girly or Barbie looking. You could also consider using both lilac and deeper purple shades. IE, use some deep purples in a few distinct areas, like in centerpieces, etc for some contrast and panache, but use the softer lilac shade for tissues, petals, etc. I have seen too many weddings where they went totally overboard on the pastels, everything looks like a big Easter egg, lol.
As for your husband, I think a traditional white shirt with a solid purple tie would look very nice. Just make sure it is a very good quality silk tie. If your husband is uncomfortable with a purple tie, you may be able to find a multicolored tie that has purple accents in it.
Good luck! Hope your wedding turns out great!
Reply:I suggest lilac. If you DO end up going with pink, choose something very pale and kind of...Eh...Metallic looking, for lack of better words. Not a bright punch-to-the-cornea pink.
Reply:If you want something that POPS! go with a bright pink. If you don't want it to POP! go with lilac. (:
skin disease
Do they still write poetry like this these days?
Oscar Wilde (1854–1900). Poems. 1881.
38. In the Gold Room: a Harmony
HER ivory hands on the ivory keys
Strayed in a fitful fantasy,
Like the silver gleam when the poplar trees
Rustle their pale leaves listlessly,
Or the drifting foam of a restless sea
When the waves show their teeth in the flying breeze.
Her gold hair fell on the wall of gold
Like the delicate gossamer tangles spun
On the burnished disk of the marigold,
Or the sun-flower turning to meet the sun
When the gloom of the jealous night is done,
And the spear of the lily is aureoled.
And her sweet red lips on these lips of mine
Burned like the ruby fire set
In the swinging lamp of a crimson shrine,
Or the bleeding wounds of the pomegranate,
Or the heart of the lotus drenched and wet
With the spilt-out blood of the rose-red wine.
Do they still write poetry like this these days?
sounds like porn to me
Oscar Wilde was gay I think
a great author
"we may all be in the gutter but some of us are looking up at the stars" loosely quoted
Reply:hm.........I really dont know but that is a good poem!!
Great!! 10/10
Reply:I sort of do poetry, here's one of mine:
Gudfar had hoped for another visit from Odin for the funeral, but somehow the magic seemed to have departed with Halfdan. Gudfar noticed an old scruffy raven that flew down and perched in a tree. It seemed to be in attendance on the funeral ceremony. He thought that maybe it was a sign from Odin but he was not sure. The raven sat there in the tree all day. After the death ritual was over, and the all-night drinking party at Stein Hall was at an end, Gudfar went out to get some fresh air early in the morning. It was still dark out. He was surprised to see the big old raven still sitting in the tree. He called to it, now thinking that perhaps it was indeed a sign. “Oooooooooodin,” he called softly to the strange bird. It just sat there in the tree. Disappointed, Gudfar turned to go back inside Stein Hall. Just as he turned his back on the bird, he heard the flapping of wings. He turned around to see the raven heading right for him. He waited. The raven landed on the steps above Gudfar. It ****** its head from side to side like birds do. Its eyes glittered strangely.
“Do you have something to say to me old friend?” asked Gudfar with amusement.
The raven flew right at him, and landed on his right shoulder. It sat there silently facing forward, as if it were looking at what Gudfar was looking at. Gudfar remained quiet, waiting. After a few minutes the old bird leaned close to Gudfar’s ear, and plainly said, “Glemme Ne, Gudfar.”
Gudfar turned his head to look at the raven but it had lifted off, and was flying away. As it flew off Gudfar heard it say again, “Glemme Ne, Gudfar, “Glemme Ne.” (Forget not)
Odin had come after all. He decided to tell no one but his wife Freydis.
During the days after the funeral, everyone relied on Gudfar and Olaf for comfort. Harald was especially lost, and he stayed close to Bjorn and the old wizard. The boy was now king after his father. And as had been agreed upon beforehand, Guthorm would rule as Harald’s regent until Halfdan’s son was old enough to rule on his own. No one else ever found out who Gudfar really was. Halfdan was missed sorely, and his people remembered him always. All of his devoted warriors swore their undying loyalty to his son of the noble blood, King Harald Halfdansson.
And now I have come to the end of my story since there is nothing more to say. It was indeed true that when Halfdan passed out of this life, much of the magic went with him. I, who was once Gudfar in a past life long ago, have now fulfilled my solemn promise to my king and brother. I remember him well. There has never been anyone like Halfdan the Black, either before or since. Forgive me if I have left anything out or gotten anything wrong. It has after all been a very long time.
Harald went on to become a famous and powerful king in his own right but that is another story for another time. As you may have guessed, I’ve promised to tell his story too. May the Great Spirit Overlord assist me.
May Odin the All-Father bless and keep you always.
Until next time, I bid you SKOAL!
From Halfdan the Black
Copyright 2003 by Carl Thompson
computer
38. In the Gold Room: a Harmony
HER ivory hands on the ivory keys
Strayed in a fitful fantasy,
Like the silver gleam when the poplar trees
Rustle their pale leaves listlessly,
Or the drifting foam of a restless sea
When the waves show their teeth in the flying breeze.
Her gold hair fell on the wall of gold
Like the delicate gossamer tangles spun
On the burnished disk of the marigold,
Or the sun-flower turning to meet the sun
When the gloom of the jealous night is done,
And the spear of the lily is aureoled.
And her sweet red lips on these lips of mine
Burned like the ruby fire set
In the swinging lamp of a crimson shrine,
Or the bleeding wounds of the pomegranate,
Or the heart of the lotus drenched and wet
With the spilt-out blood of the rose-red wine.
Do they still write poetry like this these days?
sounds like porn to me
Oscar Wilde was gay I think
a great author
"we may all be in the gutter but some of us are looking up at the stars" loosely quoted
Reply:hm.........I really dont know but that is a good poem!!
Great!! 10/10
Reply:I sort of do poetry, here's one of mine:
Gudfar had hoped for another visit from Odin for the funeral, but somehow the magic seemed to have departed with Halfdan. Gudfar noticed an old scruffy raven that flew down and perched in a tree. It seemed to be in attendance on the funeral ceremony. He thought that maybe it was a sign from Odin but he was not sure. The raven sat there in the tree all day. After the death ritual was over, and the all-night drinking party at Stein Hall was at an end, Gudfar went out to get some fresh air early in the morning. It was still dark out. He was surprised to see the big old raven still sitting in the tree. He called to it, now thinking that perhaps it was indeed a sign. “Oooooooooodin,” he called softly to the strange bird. It just sat there in the tree. Disappointed, Gudfar turned to go back inside Stein Hall. Just as he turned his back on the bird, he heard the flapping of wings. He turned around to see the raven heading right for him. He waited. The raven landed on the steps above Gudfar. It ****** its head from side to side like birds do. Its eyes glittered strangely.
“Do you have something to say to me old friend?” asked Gudfar with amusement.
The raven flew right at him, and landed on his right shoulder. It sat there silently facing forward, as if it were looking at what Gudfar was looking at. Gudfar remained quiet, waiting. After a few minutes the old bird leaned close to Gudfar’s ear, and plainly said, “Glemme Ne, Gudfar.”
Gudfar turned his head to look at the raven but it had lifted off, and was flying away. As it flew off Gudfar heard it say again, “Glemme Ne, Gudfar, “Glemme Ne.” (Forget not)
Odin had come after all. He decided to tell no one but his wife Freydis.
During the days after the funeral, everyone relied on Gudfar and Olaf for comfort. Harald was especially lost, and he stayed close to Bjorn and the old wizard. The boy was now king after his father. And as had been agreed upon beforehand, Guthorm would rule as Harald’s regent until Halfdan’s son was old enough to rule on his own. No one else ever found out who Gudfar really was. Halfdan was missed sorely, and his people remembered him always. All of his devoted warriors swore their undying loyalty to his son of the noble blood, King Harald Halfdansson.
And now I have come to the end of my story since there is nothing more to say. It was indeed true that when Halfdan passed out of this life, much of the magic went with him. I, who was once Gudfar in a past life long ago, have now fulfilled my solemn promise to my king and brother. I remember him well. There has never been anyone like Halfdan the Black, either before or since. Forgive me if I have left anything out or gotten anything wrong. It has after all been a very long time.
Harald went on to become a famous and powerful king in his own right but that is another story for another time. As you may have guessed, I’ve promised to tell his story too. May the Great Spirit Overlord assist me.
May Odin the All-Father bless and keep you always.
Until next time, I bid you SKOAL!
From Halfdan the Black
Copyright 2003 by Carl Thompson
computer
Friday, July 31, 2009
I'm trying to find marble sculptor artist, name Steve Heim/Steve Hein, featured Laguna Festival Arts early 80s
I have tried every key word search in Google without luck. The marble sculpture I have is really unique flower-stem, made up of 4 pieces, large and really heavy, to be hung on a wall. Thanks, John
I'm trying to find marble sculptor artist, name Steve Heim/Steve Hein, featured Laguna Festival Arts early 80s
Is this him?
http://welcome.georgiasouthern.edu/wildl...
dental
I'm trying to find marble sculptor artist, name Steve Heim/Steve Hein, featured Laguna Festival Arts early 80s
Is this him?
http://welcome.georgiasouthern.edu/wildl...
dental
Help with my Lawn!?
Okay, so me and my wife have been trying to sell our house. We're getting it prepared on the inside, repairing nicks and crannies, painting, putting tile in, and repairing the bathrooms.
But we think the most important thing is the lawn, being the first thing the buyer would see. If they don't get a good impression, they most likely won't go in, right? So we were trying to think of some flowers, or other plants to put in out lawn. We made the sketch, which is shown below, of our front yard. Our nieghbors have very well maintained, goregous and vibrant colored lawns during the summer and spring, and that will also decrease the chances of our buying going in, if he or she compares our yard to our neighbors. So, what type of flowers would go well in our stone wall area (on the sketch)?
the sketch:
http://img219.imageshack.us/my.php?image...
We live in Cincinnati, Ohio.
Our ave. temp. in summer/spring-about 75.
Our yard gets abundant sun.
Help with my Lawn!?
I have read that a house with yellow flowers will statistically sell faster than one without yellow flowers. I have no idea why.
If you want to go with that, I recommend getting some landscape-sized black-eyed Susans (rudbekia) to plant around. They flower vigorously, and without stopping from July through frost. And they love sun, and are nearly fuss-free. It will be May before you'll find those available, though.
If you're going to be taking a picture of your house in the spring (before summer flowers are out), go and see what is available in flower (annuals) at your local nursery or garden center, and pick some stuff out that looks good to plant before your picture is taken. The annuals should begin arriving in your area very soon. Primrose and pansies (frost-tolerant flowers) are showing up in garden centers in your area in March, with LOTS of the rest of them coming in April.
Pots of flowers on the porch can help "fancy" it up as well.
Reply:for spring plantings i would plant pansies, inpatients, and ornamental cabbages. this would give you from purples, to red/pinks to yellow and green. the cabbages are very colorful and help add some "pop" to a flower garden. tip: do not space your flowers/plantings evenly. you will find that clusters and random placement will give your plants a focal point and will also make the area look larger
Payday Loan
But we think the most important thing is the lawn, being the first thing the buyer would see. If they don't get a good impression, they most likely won't go in, right? So we were trying to think of some flowers, or other plants to put in out lawn. We made the sketch, which is shown below, of our front yard. Our nieghbors have very well maintained, goregous and vibrant colored lawns during the summer and spring, and that will also decrease the chances of our buying going in, if he or she compares our yard to our neighbors. So, what type of flowers would go well in our stone wall area (on the sketch)?
the sketch:
http://img219.imageshack.us/my.php?image...
We live in Cincinnati, Ohio.
Our ave. temp. in summer/spring-about 75.
Our yard gets abundant sun.
Help with my Lawn!?
I have read that a house with yellow flowers will statistically sell faster than one without yellow flowers. I have no idea why.
If you want to go with that, I recommend getting some landscape-sized black-eyed Susans (rudbekia) to plant around. They flower vigorously, and without stopping from July through frost. And they love sun, and are nearly fuss-free. It will be May before you'll find those available, though.
If you're going to be taking a picture of your house in the spring (before summer flowers are out), go and see what is available in flower (annuals) at your local nursery or garden center, and pick some stuff out that looks good to plant before your picture is taken. The annuals should begin arriving in your area very soon. Primrose and pansies (frost-tolerant flowers) are showing up in garden centers in your area in March, with LOTS of the rest of them coming in April.
Pots of flowers on the porch can help "fancy" it up as well.
Reply:for spring plantings i would plant pansies, inpatients, and ornamental cabbages. this would give you from purples, to red/pinks to yellow and green. the cabbages are very colorful and help add some "pop" to a flower garden. tip: do not space your flowers/plantings evenly. you will find that clusters and random placement will give your plants a focal point and will also make the area look larger
Payday Loan
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