How can I make this poem better?

I scoff at the lofty mountain before me as bitter tears roll down my face.


I cry, Dear Lord please help me as I stumble to a slower pace


I plead in prayer and begin to say...


I ache for something forbidden


I feel it to be love but to whom it is for is where my dark secret lay hidden.


I beg my spirit to bid thy will and stop yearning for his love to feel


I reach and wonder is Thy mighty arm stretch out to me still?


I know thou can mold me as soft clay to a potter


I stall for help to not thirst for his unclean offer


I see his gift is like acid rain to a dessert flower


I wonder why I have lost my desire to reach for Thy loving power


I believe Thou Art the author of love and giver of all


I question….can thou free me from my lonely prison’s wall


I want my heart filled with a pure fire of ever-lasting love so true


I ask for my heart to soften and my vision to expand anew


I dread my choice ahead and I feel so lonely and almost dead


I look up to the starry sky then back down upon the mountain oh so high


I hold my hand close to my chest and know what is for the best


I have faltered many times at the task that must be done


I dread that I must break our heart that has mended into one


I wipe the bitter tears from off my face and stand to start another pace

How can I make this poem better?
First of all it doesn't rhyme so it's prose not a poem.





Regardless it is a personal display of one's inner soul. You have accomplished this quite well.





Bravo !
Reply:It is fine the way it is. I love it. l can feel like l'm there standing right beside you. It is very powerful. Keep it. I love it!
Reply:I just wanted to comment on what Phoenix/Deity said, just because a poem doesn't rhyme does not mean it is not a poem. Not all poems have to rhyme, I don't know where people keep getting this idea from where poems have to rhyme. Rhyming doesn't make a poem, it is just one of the many devices poets use in poems.





Anyway, your is alright. There are a few cliches that need to be re-written and made your own.



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